To Forgive and be Forgetful
No matter how hard you try, you will never be able to forget a misdeed that someone has done to you in the past, even an enlightened monk remembers it. We cannot erase our memory of the deeds they did to us, it is impossible. We even have memories from our past lives, which most of us cannot excess (as yet). So no we cannot forget.
We shouldn’t forget either, in this case, to forgive would be to deny then, to be living in a state of denial. It is of course, every one’s right to choose whether he/she wants to continue further relations with the person who is at fault.
To forgive does not mean to forget. To forgive means to be at peace with whatever fault was done unto you, and to be at peace with the person, and last but not least for be at peace with the bitter memory. Forgiving is an internal process of acceptance, not an outer process of a formal kind gesture. Forgiveness, therefore, is an art of meditation.
You do not have to go to the person and say ‘I forgive you.’ Because like Oscar De Wilde once said ‘always forgive your enemies, nothing annoys them so much.’ In doing so you might end up causing more complications, because first of all, there is a good possibility the person does not feel at fault, and no one comes up to a person saying things like that without a tinge of conceit in their ego.
Some of you might ask: well why shouldn’t we forget?
Well, when you have learnt experientially that fire burns when you touch it, would you forget it? No, but would you hold grudge against it? No again. It is the same deal. Everything is alive in this world, even a rock. Everything in this world, from a pebble to a human being has consciousness. Therefore forgive the person, just the same way you forgive the fire, so to speak. Why was it so easy for you to forgive the fire? Because you know, you are convinced that the fire didn’t know that it was harming you, the same attitude you should use with people. This is what Jesus meant when he said, ‘Forgive them Father, for they know not what they have done.’
We shouldn’t forget either, in this case, to forgive would be to deny then, to be living in a state of denial. It is of course, every one’s right to choose whether he/she wants to continue further relations with the person who is at fault.
To forgive does not mean to forget. To forgive means to be at peace with whatever fault was done unto you, and to be at peace with the person, and last but not least for be at peace with the bitter memory. Forgiving is an internal process of acceptance, not an outer process of a formal kind gesture. Forgiveness, therefore, is an art of meditation.
You do not have to go to the person and say ‘I forgive you.’ Because like Oscar De Wilde once said ‘always forgive your enemies, nothing annoys them so much.’ In doing so you might end up causing more complications, because first of all, there is a good possibility the person does not feel at fault, and no one comes up to a person saying things like that without a tinge of conceit in their ego.
Some of you might ask: well why shouldn’t we forget?
Well, when you have learnt experientially that fire burns when you touch it, would you forget it? No, but would you hold grudge against it? No again. It is the same deal. Everything is alive in this world, even a rock. Everything in this world, from a pebble to a human being has consciousness. Therefore forgive the person, just the same way you forgive the fire, so to speak. Why was it so easy for you to forgive the fire? Because you know, you are convinced that the fire didn’t know that it was harming you, the same attitude you should use with people. This is what Jesus meant when he said, ‘Forgive them Father, for they know not what they have done.’
posted by suraj at 5:04 AM
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