Revelation: Who Am I?

i would like to consider this post as a sequal to my old post "transition from geek to freak" and maybe with a lil tinge of contradiction added to the previous post too... (transition from geek to freak" can be viewed in my old blog which is there in my friendster)

well, i shall start now.

a few days back, thanks to my close friend, i had a revelation of sorts.

u c, we were talking randomly and he somehow confessed that he is a geek or sorts and i told how how lucky he was not to look at all like a geek, to which he replied something which sounded like whats so bad about a geek.

well come to think of it, back in my school day i was a geek, and i have to say i didnt quite like myself then, i took it rather like as if it was a curse from god which i had to accept, that i looked, lived, ate, drank, slept and even farted like a bloody geek.

i couldnt accept who i was c? i always wanted to be someone who was outgoing and popular, back in my stupid days i always thought that cool outgoing popular people were people who were never into reading or writing or studying for that matter, and when i think back, i couldnt help but think how naive and narrow minded i was. and thats how my good friend, sorta opened my eyes, in a sense he proved to me that my theory was indeed wrong, which i already kinda realized that it was wrong anyways, even before i got close to him.

but i couldnt get over that fact that being a geek aint cool.

i think whats cool and whats not cool depends on how u feel being yourself, not what other people think and feel about u (unless u r a criminal then its a different story all together. )

u c, when i was dumb geek, i wanted to join these "cool" people, and i did the obvious ultmate dumb and naive person would do : throw their identity and get used to someone they are not, and believe it or not, they will never EVER get used to it, they think ah well its like a new shoe, i will get comfortable with it sooner or later, but NO, instead u will loose yourself and u will stop being yourself and u will not know who u r anymore, and seriously, its a terrifying thing.

its the root thats gonna cause u to your downfall, the way it did to me, so do not give urself up for something u r NOT. being yourself is by far the best thing that u can ever do, and believe in whatever u r.

just because u r a geek does not mean u cant get friends, u can get friends, just different and smarter friends.

i will give u a good example, think about this, do u think it would be cool if someone like Frank Sinatra performed in a rave infront of millions and millions of trance and house music fans? no it wont be cool, he will be booed at, and thats exactly how it is right there!